The Board You Have vs. The Board You Want: Leading Through the Gap

There’s a moment in every Executive Director’s journey when the ideal vision of board leadership collides with the reality of who’s sitting around the table.

Maybe your board is supportive—but disengaged. Maybe they’re involved—but too involved, blurring the lines between governance and operations. maybe they’re simply unsure of what their role really is, and you're left managing not only your staff and mission—but the board itself.

This disconnect is more common than most EDs admit aloud. But here’s the truth:

Every Executive Director leads with the board they have—not the one they wish they had.

And navigating that gap takes more than patience or people-pleasing. It requires clarity, strategy, and a steady hand.

Recognizing the Tension

You’re the one reading the budget line-by-line, writing the grant, navigating a staff vacancy, and keeping the lights on. Meanwhile, a board member questions the color of the new logo or wants to weigh in on the front desk hours.

You might feel frustrated, misunderstood, or even invisible. You’re not alone.

But this isn't about finger-pointing. It's about understanding the system you’re operating in—and making intentional moves to strengthen it.

Step One: Define the Roles (Again)

It might seem basic, but even the most experienced board members often need a refresher on what governance truly means.

It’s not approving every detail, it's not managing staff, it's not stepping in during a crisis without context.

Governance is about oversight, direction, and strategic leadership. And reinforcing that starts with you.

✔️ Reintroduce role clarity at your next board meeting.

✔️ Provide a one-pager on board vs. staff responsibilities.

✔️ Use real scenarios to walk through who owns which decisions.

It’s not condescending—it’s empowering. You’re building shared language that makes governance more accessible.

Step Two: Share Strategic Priorities, Not Task Lists

If your board packets are filled with facility updates, event recaps, and parking lot repairs, you’re training your board to think like a facilities committee, not a leadership team.

Instead, shift the focus to:

• What big-picture outcomes you're working toward

• What key decisions are coming up

• What data is guiding your next move

• Where board input or connections could make a difference

When the board is invited into the strategy—not the day-to-day—they’re more likely to show up as thought partners rather than micromanagers.

Step Three: Lead the Culture You Want

Culture isn’t built through bylaws or job descriptions—it’s modeled.

If you respond to every overreach with resentment or silence, the cycle continues. But if you respond with structured clarity, consistency, and a willingness to teach—things start to shift.

Ask yourself:

• Do I set the tone for board-staff interactions?

• Am I reinforcing governance norms in real time?

• Am I naming what’s working and what’s not—with respect?

You are not responsible for how every board member shows up. But you are responsible for how leadership operates around them.

Step Four: Build the Bridge While Walking It

You don’t have to overhaul your board overnight. In fact, most successful board evolution happens gradually—one conversation, one new member, one moment of clarity at a time.

Start small:

• Introduce a board self-assessment

• Offer a brief governance spotlight at each meeting

• Create an informal leadership pathway for new or quieter voices

• Reflect regularly on how the board is helping—or hindering—mission delivery

Over time, your board will grow stronger. Not perfect. Not always easy. But stronger.

You Deserve a Board That Leads With You

You deserve a board that understands the weight you carry. That leans in with strategy, not scrutiny. That trusts your leadership enough to let you lead.

But until then, know this:

You are not failing because your board isn’t ideal. You are succeeding in spite of the gaps. And you are building something better—one clear step at a time.

Interested in learning more? Feel free to contact me, brenda@profoundleadership.org